My Abnormal Life

I have to say that discouragement has certainly become larger than my faith. Most of the time I feel like God has other things and other people to take care of. I so desperately want Him to see our helplessness and quite frankly, the hopelessness of this adoption that I feel. I feel like I want Him just to look down right into my heart and say “Oh no, I need to do something for this family and this adoption. They have been hurting way too long.” Its certainly a struggle for me as the leader of my home to watch my wife’s heartbreak and sadness at the lack of moving closer to the adoption and hearing no news. No one seems to get it. No one asks why. Too many others have stopped asking or pointing out the obvious that its just ‘status quo’. I want to jump up and down and scream at this whole process. Injustice, unfairness to state a couple words. So here we are waiting. The children continue to grow up in Haiti while we are making plans for their homecoming; yet the world turns, minutes and years pass by, and any hopeful news or news of being closer to our adoption is not any closer than it was 13 months ago.
So, I’m just speaking honestly here. I am asking for a renewed spirit of faith and hope. I’m asking you for your open and honest prayer for those of us adopting. I’m asking you to be honest too. Will you adopt? Its not easy by any stretch of the word. Its actually quite exhausting. Its overwhelming and burdensome. Jesus carried and continues to carry our burdens. Pray for us on this journey of adopting our children, Micah Ethan and Rilee Hope. I am also asking, in all honesty, for your support. Can you help us financially? Please pray.

-Shalom

Do you feel complete? How about the year’s end? Was it complete for you? Did you get to December 31, 2011 and say “There, completion!”? 
      Maybe there is a hole that lies deep in the pit of your soul.  For me, I want to grow.  It is two Haitian children who still need to come home. It is an acknowledgement of the lack of leadership as a husband and that I need to grow into the part God has called me to be as the spiritual head.  It is being deliberate with my spritual growth. I want so many things. I feel incomplete. I feel like I wasted too many days over the last year not growing closer to my Lord. I feel like time is flying by and I’m looking at the end of 2012 already.
     I can’t hurry God. I want Him to return but not before Micah and Rilee get to come home. I want to grow in Christ not just as a husband but as a Dad to be. My prayer for 2012 is to grow. It’s still a scary thing, growth. I want to grow closer to my wife, grow closer to my Creator, grow closer to my family and friends, grow closer to my church family. I’m 43 years old and I desire to grow up. I pray for growth. Jesus come and bring me a growth spurt this year.
     What do you want most for 2012?

-Shalom

……..More

……..More

     For the past few weeks I have had a song in my head called “Holiness” that has me really engaged in thinking about how we worship and praise the Holy One, Jesus Christ.  The words that keep playing over and over are “brokenness, brokenness is what I long for. Brokenness, brokenness is what I need. Brokenness, brokenness is what You want from me.”  It makes me wonder how “complete” our praise and worship really is if we are broken.  Can God be pleased with us if we are a sinful people with brokenness before Him Who is holy and how can He even accept our broken praise?  Hopefully, I can answer this a little bit in this blog but more importantly, this would encourage you as you praise the Almighty for what he is doing in your own life.  

     I will not pretend to have it all together.  I will not pretend that I am a spotless lamb for there is only One Who is the Spotless Lamb and sacrificed Himself for you and me.  The questions posed here to answer is if you and I are broken, then isn’t our praise and worship broken?  How do we please God with broken praise?  We must admit that no matter how much we try to worship God in our own strength and zeal it will always be broken.  So, our desire must be to bring pure worship and praise to God but how? 

     One of the best verses to address this issue of brokenness is found in Psalm 51:16-17 “For You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering.  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.”  This is the key.  We do not worship and praise because it is the outward requirement.  What we praise and worship God with is a broken and bruised heart which cannot be healed except for God to have total control.  He is the Potter and we are the clay.  Pure worship is wrapped up in the fact that we are broken and cannot “fix” ourselves.  God’s people realize He is the One Who makes all things new and repairs our brokenness and in Jesus alone we are healed.  We need to wrap our minds around this.  If we approach God thinking our hearts are pure and whole because of anything we think we can offer Him, we become a rotten corpse upon an altar of our own pride.  This “offering” is unacceptable to God.  How often we come to our places of worship on Sundays and think God is pleased with the singing or programs we “offer” to Him and how often we are left empty because our worship and praise are nothing more than hollow words and hot air hallelujahs!  God is pleased with our brokenness. 

     God is pleased with our brokenness.  What a statement.  This is of utmost importance when we come to Him in His presence.  It is at this point in our Christian lives each one of us HAS to get to.  We need to come to the place when we acknowledge that we have absolutely nothing of goodness or importance to bring to God.  God has everything to offer us wrapped up in the person of Jesus Christ His Son and every one of us are no good rotten scoundrels who think in some sick and twisted way, God needs us.  The truth of the matter is that we need Him and our brokenness and bruised hearts are made whole in Jesus.  When Jesus is the center, our praise and worship in turn is complete and whole because of Him. 

     Remember to bring your brokenness before the Lord and because of your brokenness you kill your pride.   James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5 “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  We humble ourselves in the presence of God because He has given us all things we need and there is nothing we can offer that is already His.  We are not good and will not boast in anything except Christ.  I hope this blog entry brings you to a place of wanting to search out more on this issue but also that we all come to the place that we will sing praises and worship God knowing that only Jesus living in us pleases God and we can confidently “Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise!” (Psalm 100:4) 

-Shalom

I have heard the contrasts of the two sons in the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32 as rebellious and legalistic. I agree with these contrasts completely when it comes to teaching about what Jesus was trying to get across to the Disciples as He taught this parable to them. It is with these two sons that we fall into one of the two categories. As for me personally, I have a tendency to find myself either in the legalistic or rebellious camps almost every day. It is difficult for me to break away from my sinful nature and rely completely on the shed blood of Jesus Christ to sustain and satisfy me as I think most all of Christians are if we are to be honest with each other. With some study of this parable though, I want to look at another explanation of the rebellious son of which we can also fall into. This son I will call “the lawless son”.

I believe this is a position we as Christians can fall into very easily in the church when all we hear is the freedom we have in Christ. We all need the law. God’s Law is never ending and unchanging; therefore I believe it is just as pertinent today as it was at the dawn of creation. Luke 16:17 reads “it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one dot of the Law to become void.” We can become quick to say “We are under grace, not the law!” Some Christians are certainly not living as they are under any law that is for certain. There is a use for the law. With the “lawless son” we see him take the father’s inheritance and depart for a life of partying and wastefulness with no thought or care of the consequences to his lifestyle. How is it that we as Christians also become saved and go living a life that seems to be absent from any law and when we stumble in our walk with Christ, we seek His mercy but are surprised when he brings punishment? This would be the consequence of not following God’s goodness of the law.

Romans 2:12-13 “For all who have sinned without the law will also perish without the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. This passage of scripture in Romans 2 is an in depth study by Paul of how God’s Law and God’s Judgment work hand in hand. For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.” God’s judgment will include the Law. According to this passage, it is imperative to be doers of God’s Law and not just hearers only. How many Sunday’s do we sit and listen to God’s Law from the pulpit only to live lawless lives during our work week? I am guilty.

Romans 2:15-24 tells us outward works show the law is written on the heart and we can have a conscience that convicts us because of the law and on judgment day the law will accuse or excuse us. Our secret places of our hearts will be judged according to the gospel, Christ Jesus. Verse 17-23 “But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast in God and know his will and approve what is excellent, because you are instructed from the law; and if you are sure that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those in darkness, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth- you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law.” It seems to me, in my opinion that the law brings about our outward works as it contrasts to circumcision in the following verses of Romans 2. So, the law convicts us along with the Holy Spirit in order for us to show God’s love toward the lost by outward compassion. It’s God’s law we teach others to “not have any other gods before us” and “love our neighbor as ourselves”. This is Christianity at the core. So, the law should not be abhorred but embraced and allowed its place alongside God’s grace and mercy.

Paul’s teaching here also addresses the teachers and preachers responsibility. Be aware of your own lives in your teaching and preaching, especially if you instruct children. Children are so impressionable and they follow their leaders as do young Christians. If you teach purity in their lives, be pure in your own life. If you teach them to be the salt and light of the world, be the salt and light in the world yourself. If you preach Christ alone, be satisfied in Him alone. If you say you are a follower of Christ, don’t allow yourself to be preoccupied with the things of this world. There is a simple little children’s song which goes “Oh be careful little eyes what you see. Oh be careful little feet where you go.” As simple as that may be, I think we all need to be in tune with a song like that as we strive to preach and teach the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

We need to be balanced in our Christian lives. We need to know God’s grace, mercy and his forgiveness of sin. We need to know and instruct His law as well. We need to become acutely aware of our sin. This awareness comes from the knowledge of the law. Romans 3:20 “For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin”. We need the law to become aware of our sin and then we need the blood of Christ to cleanse us of our sin. Without the law we can become unaware or callous in our hearts to the sin we are so guilty of.

I pray this doesn’t confuse anyone living under the grace of God. I pray that it does not make anyone think the law is the requirement for salvation because in such thinking we become legalistic and downright harsh to our fellow man. I pray this is a snippet of a topic for discussion that drives you to study further. I pray we are not lawless Christians but using the law properly in discerning our lives and our own personal walk with our Savior, Jesus Christ. God’s law should help us recognize the “pig pen” we are in and move us into the freedom and love we can only find in the arms of the One who bore our sin upon the cross.

-Shalom

You will be as the lighthouse

Frustration sets in with life’s struggles as Christians when we are unable to harness the strength and power God promises us. He promises there will be trials and tribulations in our lives. He promises we will endure these trials and tribulations but only by His strength can we endure. Depression, despair, defeat in life come when we focus on our circumstances and issues instead of God’s sovereignty over our lives. God sees what we don’t see and He knows what we don’t know is what can be best described as His sovereignty. When we don’t fully trust God for His sovereign hand on our lives, we can experience stress, worry, uncertainty, depression, despair; all the things in our life that want to rob us of our freedom and hope that only Christ offers.

Therefore, there is a need to grow in spiritual maturity so when these trials and tribulations happen we can take comfort in Him alone. Spiritual maturity is a must for every believer. This is quite evident in God’s Word found in Hebrews 5:12-14. “For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” The reiteration of this verse in application to our lives is the last part of verse 14 “their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.”

This life is hard and for the Christian, spiritual growth to maturity is a must. I want to offer three essentials to our lives as Christians that we must develop daily which will contribute to our spiritual maturity. These three elements may seem easy but they must take a conscience effort on our part. I believe they are key elements of effectively living through our circumstances and pressing into Jesus for His strength and trusting in His sovereignty. Spiritual maturity takes time but it shouldn’t take a life time.

1. PRAYER

We must talk to God. Simple enough right? I think it can be difficult when it is not done regularly or we have a preconceived idea of what prayer is supposed to be about or sound like. A messy life can usually point to a messy prayer life. In Habakkuk 1:2-4 we find the prophet praying to God in despair. He asks how long he must cry to God or why God does not answer the wickedness he sees around him. Have you been there? I certainly have. Desperation can drive you to your knees. All you may have left in you is prayer. Let your heart be made known to God. “He already knows my heart”, you say? He wants to hear it directly and daily from you.

Prayer brings restoration and the prayer of faith is a lifestyle. James 5:13-18 gives us this picture of prayer as a lifestyle. Elijah prays for 3 years and 6 months that it would not rain on the earth and it was so. After that time, Elijah prays again and it rains. The bible says he prayed fervently. Do we pray fervently? Do we live lives of faithful prayer? God answers these kinds of prayers. We open and expose our hearts to God when we pray fervently to Him. He wants our hearts.

Habakkuk prays honestly to God about his life. He has no answers only questions but his heart is poured out to God. He is seeking God’s answers to his honest and difficult questions. Habakkuk is not perfect but he is pursuing God in prayer. I believe we need to be engaged in this prayerful lifestyle not perfectly but pursuing. We need to prayerfully pursue God diligently and daily. I believe this is the first step towards Christian maturity.

2. BIBLE

There is no easier way I can say this except read your Bible! Don’t wait for Sunday church to open your Bible. Don’t go to church without your Bible if you have one. If you do not have one, get one. Ask someone in your church who can help you get one. Christian maturity comes from the study of it. How do you read and study God’s word? For me, I listen to sermons by a few Pastors. My list is Mark Driscoll, Matt Chandler, James MacDonald, John Piper, and Chuck Swindoll. In other words, seek men of God who will teach you Bible and find a church that teaches Bible.

Teach yourself the Bible. I’ve heard many times, “I just don’t understand the Bible. I read it but don’t understand it.” Versions may have something to do with this dilemma. I use an English Standard Version and love it. What doesn’t make sense is “I just don’t understand the Bible so I don’t read it.” Verses like “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.” doesn’t make sense? That is more excuse and rooted in laziness than just not understanding it. Pray first and let God guide you to His word. There is so much strength in His truth. Find characters in the Bible who have gone through trials and tribulations and study them and how they found victory in God’s sovereignty. Open your heart to the opening of the Word and God will guide you and grow in you. I have also found that the more I open His word, the more I desire it and look for opportunities to be reading it. Its not just about getting a schedule or seeking a quiet place and time, although these are good, it is more about consciously taking time to opening and reading it.

3. FELLOWSHIP

This is a must for Christian maturity. The first two, prayer and Bible, are extremely important but fellowship is equally essential as well. I love 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.” To grow in this Christian life, we must fellowship together. You are not alone in your trials and tribulations. You are not alone in your temptations and sin. We are called together to share this life. Think about this: when Christ returns to take us home to Heaven, we will spend eternity together. We, the body of Christ, need this fellowship together. The day is fast approaching that we will spend eternity in fellowship.

We need the body of believers to be open with and to know that we are not the only ones struggling in this life. We need to hear the promises of God on our lives. We need to hear how God is encouraging others to pursue Him daily. We need to hear how the saints are growing in order for us to grow with them. We need to be connected as Christ calls us to be connected. We need to be connected to the community of believers as Christ is our example and was connected to His community of believers.

Throughout scripture Jesus calls people and shares community with those He calls. See how He calls Levi (Matthew) in Mark 2. He shows us He is a Missionary God. Jesus goes to Levi’s house where there is a meal and sinners gathered and they have fellowship. This is where life and God meet together. I need you and you need me. Fellowship brings about Christian maturity by sharing in other believers lives and connection brings the body of Christ together in strength.

So, three things toward Christian maturity which may or may not seem easy and you may already be doing. If you are doing these things, don’t quit. If you aren’t doing these things, start. Christian maturity takes effort; especially in the humility aspect of our lives. Humility is tough when dealing with prideful people, which we all are.

When you pray, be open and honest with God. He knows your heart and wants you to open it up to Him in prayer. Peace comes from fervent and honest prayer. Pursue God in prayer. Read the first chapter of Habakkuk and see how God answers his prayer. You will see God’s sovereignty here. With prayer, trust in God’s sovereignty and remember He sees what you don’t see and knows what you don’t know.

Search scripture for knowledge and discernment in your life. Some of the greatest struggles people ever went through can be found in God’s Word. These stories of heartache and triumph can become insight to how you face the issues of life that plague you every day. You will learn how others deal with the sins you face. You will learn how to deal with sorrow that others faced. You will learn to praise Him daily for His goodness and provision. There are gems to be discovered on every page of the Bible, so search for them.

Seek other Christians and get connected to community. Surround yourself with other Christians for accountability and honest assessment of your walk with God. Will it hurt? Yes and it should. The only way we will grow in fellowship is to stop putting on the fake smiles and the fake attitudes and be real with each other. Be strong in acknowledging failures, weaknesses, and struggles within your fellowship groups. Don’t be afraid to fall flat on your face in your communities but don’t stay there. People are watching you and reading your life. Let this all point to Christ and what He is doing in you.

Like a complete and balanced breakfast, these three essentials to Christian maturity need to be combined for a complete and balanced walk with God. It won’t happen right away and it will take time but how long have you been a Christian? Has it been too long? It is like a New Years resolution that starts strong but is discarded within a couple of months. Let these elements take hold of your life and become your daily routine. Habits are hard to break after they are formed. Make these Christian “habits” that no matter how hard it may be, you simply cannot live without them. The truth of the matter is you will not be able to sustain your Christian life if these elements are not prevalent in it. This Christian life is a long term commitment. You were not just called to salvation. That was just the beginning. Jesus says “Follow me.” Find out where He is leading you and continue to follow Him in these areas of your lives daily and diligently.

-Shalom

     Since we have said “yes” to God in His calling for us to adopt from Haiti, I must confess that I feel like He is closer than He was before. Don’t get me wrong, my relationship with Christ has been close and I have pursued His calling on my life but I have felt like it could always be closer and I could pursue Him more. I still feel the conviction on my life that I am not forsaking everything and following Him wholeheartedly as He calls every one of us. I am still holding onto the things of this world. I worry about money, job, and bills; alright it’s mostly about money. God’s Word tells me to “not be anxious about anything” in Philippians 4:6. Adoption has certainly brought about new anxieties. I worry about our home, the twins’ health, the children’s care and their caretakers, Haiti, cholera, bed bugs, worms, and so much more. Yet, adoption has certainly brought me closer to the realization of His heart for the poor and needy as well as the calling on the church to “visit orphans and widows in their affliction…” James 1:27. The problem with this calling is that I have thought it too long of a calling for someone else. The Bible says this calling is “pure and undefiled before God, the Father”. Aren’t we all called to this, to be pure and undefiled before God on judgment day? Who can really be pure and undefiled before God? That would be unattainable. Isn’t this the calling of the church? Isn’t the church every believer? Isn’t the church you and I? The answer is very clear in Romans 2:13 “For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.”

     This brings me to the newest installment of the blog and this entry. How many of us, if we are honest, believe that attending church is enough? How many of us think that missions are for someone else? How many of us think that we just aren’t equipped or too old or too young or too poor or…? Aren’t we all? Isn’t this the church? However, how long are we going to make excuses and continue to sit idly by in our churches thinking Christ’s call is for someone else? Well, Christ’s call is for each one of His “average Joe’s”.

     The world is completely baffled when it comes to what you do as a Christian. A “Christ-follower” is weird according to worldly standards and it isn’t just because you or I adopt. It’s simply because you are Christian. You are weird. Everything you stand for in Christ is completely and utterly against all that the world understands. All you do in the name of Christ is not normal. “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 So there it is. We are average Joe’s, called to carry out Christ’s calling on our lives to a world that sees us as weak, lowly, unwise, powerless, and foolish. I am in awe of this calling. We all need to know we are called to share the Gospel. We all need to be embracing our call and molding our lives around this high calling. So, how do we do it?

     I understand that not all Christians are called to adopt. I understand not all Christians are called to the soup kitchen, or the elderly home, or the homeless, or the sick and dying, or the prisoner. But we are all called by Christ to follow Him. He tells us to follow Him in several passages of the Bible like in 1 Kings 18, Matthew 9, Matthew 16, John 10, John 12, and 1 Peter 2 to name just a few. Since we are called to follow Him, we are called to do what He called us to do. I have seen too many Christians walk into the church, take their seat, and fall asleep. The pew is where they will die. Too many Christians are willing to allow the “select few” to take hold of the mission God has called us all to. What excuses are you using to not walk in faith? What excuse do you make for not reaching your neighbors, your community, and your world for the sake of Christ? Is the Gospel more valuable to you today than the day you were saved? Do you crave His word, His family, His voice?

     God’s specific calling of adoption from Haiti on my life may not be His calling on your life. However, He is calling you to something greater than your own little world. He is calling you out of your “average Joe” life to impact the world around you even if that world doesn’t understand it. He may be simply calling you to “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” Mark 5:19 Just remember, the calling on your life may seem simple but it is never small.

Would you let Jesus in your boat?